Art of making friends

Are you a loner?  Well, it’s not bad to be a lonesome bird either, coz the choices you have are enormous e.g., Internet, reading, fishing, cooking etc.  But once in a while you may feeling like being with someone besides yourself and your family.  You may need that someone who you can pour your heart out to or someone with whom you can just be yourselfwhen you are hanging out with them.

Here are some tips if you need a friend and want to make some:

ü  Step out for all kinds of social gatherings:

This means you have to start attending social events or join clubs, groups or other social circles, that you know of.  Remember someone is not going to come to your doorsteps to be your friend.  So just step out and meet some people.

ü  Don’t discriminate:

When you like somebody or your wavelength matches with someone, please do not discriminate on grounds of their social standing, looks or their way of dressing.  Don’t be that extra picky when it comes to liking an individual.  At the same time remember, “a man is known by the company he keeps”, so be careful to be not in the company of an infamous person, while choosing a friend.  A wise way of choosing your friends would keep you away from any threat or any untoward incident as well.

ü  Mind of your gestures:

Carry a friendly smile on yourself and look into the eye while talking.  Please do not fold your hands and cross them across your chest as this demarcates an unfriendly attitude.  Shaking your legs is another unacceptable gesture that may put people off completely.

ü  Strike a conversation:

Start a conversation with asking to know more about the other person and their likes and dislikes.  Once you feel yours and their interests match, then you can think of taking this forward.  Offer to leave your chat/email ID and telephone number by saying something like “I really like your thoughts on ABC.  Lets catch up sometime and talk a lot more.  Let me quickly give you my email ID and telephone number”.  At the end of the conversation don’t forget to introduce yourself if you have already not done so.

ü Don’t Brag:

The last thing someone wants to hear is how good you are and how happy you are with whatever you have. Self praising can be little annoying at times and puts people on guard. So be careful with the topic you choose for discussion.

ü  Be in touch:

If you have discovered that friend, then be in touch.  You may just send a text or call up once in a while for a small chat.  Then may be you can catch up for lunch or coffee.  This would tighten the bonding.

ü  Take it easy:

Don’t go overboard trying to be friends with someone.  Don’t get too pushy.  Follow the 70/30 rule (listening 70% and talking 30%).  Avoid complaining too much.  Don’t get too nosy and interfering.  Stop slapping your opinion on them.

ü  Be a good friend:

Be a friend in need.  Be someone who your friend can rely on.  Be a helpful one and not a self centered friend.  Don’t try to control your friend and in turn you would stifle them.

ü  Be consistent:

Be very consistent in your demeanor.  A friend is the one who stands by you and for what they say, unconditionally.  Please don’t let anyone influence you against your friends and if they are able to do so then please mark yourself a big zero in the “be a good friend” section.  Have the courage to confront and ask direct questions, instead of getting influenced by one sided views from someone.  If you think you can’t do this then, Alas!  there’s really no point in following any of the above tips.

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